From camera and cancer to paintbrush – how making art can empower you

London-based nurse, photographer and painter, Claudia Diaz, says: “I am lucky to be creative in my everyday life. A picture, person, film scene or snapshot of emotional life are the impulses for my creative work.”

“In 2016 my life was shaken by breast cancer,” says Claudia. “I am a nurse and work in oncology. The first stage was the breast operation. When I woke up after the operation and felt my bandage, I was terrified. Had the tumour had been completely cut out of my body, and what shape was my breast after the operation?”

Claudia’s tumour was removed before it could spread. “I will never forget that surreal moment. My heart was racing, my pupils dilated, I was rigid when the bandage was loosened and could see the result of the operation in the mirror. It felt like I stood there for hours. A fighting feeling flowed through my mind; I told myself that my chest will recover and I should be grateful that the life threat has been removed. But the pain and nerve damage were unbearable – the left arm listlessly down, my body feeling and posture had changed, I felt insecure, helpless… Then I went into the second stage of therapy.

“A port was planted in me for the upcoming chemotheraphy. This port stuck out of me like a thumb; a bionic device that made me feel like a different person, a creature. After the second chemo, I could hardly describe my appearance, the transformation – bald head, posture, the poison of chemo clouding my consciousness. There was a desire for normality. I missed photography, and my carefree life.

“I came up with the idea of portraying myself through images. At that time I lived with my friend, a mentor. She gave me watercolour paints and paper. My self-image reminded me of a repulsive hairless caterpillar. And when I showed these portraits to my friend she asked me to try to convey my feelings in strange faces and bodies – so the ‘soul selfies’ were created.

“It’s exciting to depict my feelings and reality with colours, shapes and details. I produce them on a surface, a painted picture that represents my emotional world. The impulse to portray myself as a caterpillar signifies rebirth and transformation; that slow way of moving and gaining strength, and the ability to overcome adverse obstacles and tread uncertain paths. I would never have discovered painting if I hadn’t lived through cancer.

“The most important part is my willpower and fighting spirit. My art gave me the confidence that even in the darkest times a flower can grow. Art is powerful and can encourage people to escape everyday worries for a few seconds. When looking at a picture, be sensitive to the imagery it triggers in you.

“Art is much more than a word or a picture, it can change opinions, bring people together, make them happy and have the courage to express their fantasies. But as an artist, my work is also socio-political and socially critical. In addition to watercolours, I paint with acrylic on large canvases to make colourful, provocative, self-confident images with a lot of female power. Art is an important form of communication for people, an expression of feelings and thoughts that can move people. Art is less what critics consider valuable, and more about what artists can reveal about themselves and the world.”